[ ♪♪ ] >> sean: a programming connote now, the first episode of my new special, is out to right now, exclusively on fox nation, a lot of the wash lasted, thank you for watching. if you haven't, check it out, it's one of the more foreign project of down. that is all the time we have, thank you for joining us, said your dvr and never missed an episode of "hannity", in the meantime don't let your heart be troubled, put a smile on your face, had a great night. [ ♪♪ ]

[ cheering and applause ] >> greg: yeah! [ laughter ] nobody tells me about my power! happy thursday everybody, is good to some jokes? bear intromac who recently turned 18, yeah, we'll turn into the political arena as a florida delegate and the florida convection -- barron trump. his dad's first order of a device? bang stormy daniels. [ laughter ] speaking of, today daniels was cross-examined for defense, her testimony were like her movies, gripping for a minute and a half, then you lose interest in click to something else.

jennifer paes of indiana passed away, but still won her gop primary election for the house of representatives. it is amazing isn't some some woman could not do that while alive. [ laughter ] illegal aliens in denver have had a list of demands to their mayor, their merit? asking for better food, medical care, shower access and no verbal or physical abuse. sorry that's not from illegal aliens. that's for my staff. lafayette airline employees busted for their ability to bypass security to smuggle in millions of dollars worth of drugs? no wonder so many flight attendants seem like something was up there but. [ laughter ] president biden claim to inflation was nine present when you took office when it was

really 1.4 percent. in his defense he does not know the difference. according to a new pole, almost one assertive americans live in constant pain, at least for one hour per day. [ laughter ] never fails! [ cheering and applause ] never fails! a new study found 38 percent of americans have never felt more uninspired at work than they do now. many states because of their crappy boss. and finally wendy's is adding mammoth 50 piece chicken nugget to their many, to ordered, all that customers have to say is give me the kristi. [ laughter ] tough love. that's do monolog, the birds and the bees bring bumble to its knees, are referred to the bumble dating out which launched a decade ago, described as the

feminist version of tender. but maybe you should have been called hinder because that is what are these feminists did to woman trying to meet men, bumbles big innovation is that only female users could make the first move to contact a potential match. that way they are in boxes full of messages from losers or -- [ laughter ] or creeps! [ laughter ] or all of the above! but that was bumbles branded, the woman get to asking the men don't, until now. after 10 years, bumble is waving the white flag and letting men initiate the conversation. turns outputting woman in the drivers seated predating a habs is as bad as putting them in the driving the seed or driving. women saw what it was like for men in the dating market and found it too hard to do what a man had to do for ages, make the

first move. so they ran away in horror like they were handed the bill for dinner. so the app finally gave into the inevitable, allowing men to initiate conversations with beaumont, no woman can add a question to their profiles for men to respond to. for lesbian and nonbinary users as directions to the closest home depot. [ laughter ] here's how bumble describes its an amazing innovation of letting men ask woman out, which we used to call human nature, are in a future opening moves let's woman choose a question that sent to all matches, just toot just manages the opening move, sit back and let some details do the work to get a good shot going. you know, and bars we used to call that having a winged man. you know, the guy that is so awkward and embarrassing, makes anybody look good? [ laughter ] my wing commander used to say, hey, great, i think you left

your trophy for best quads in your helicopter. you know, a wing man was like goose in top gun, as long as you make me look good, i don't care if he died in the ocean. the abba adds "so if you're done with thinking with what to say, we get it, opening moves means less agonizing of what to say" say it's not so easy my little chickadees, having to think on your feet, be charming and witty. know we had to do a tier face after six shots of yegor meister. but with the bumble a woman can output a question in her profile like what is your dream vacation? who is your favorite singer? or who will feed all my cats when i die alone? then and you followed there can talk because as you know there is nothing as guys enjoy more than small talk for hours on end

but it gives men a chance who are physically repulsive to woman a book and so come up with a good liner twahtwah. so why is it bumble doing this after 10 long years? while the stock price has plummeted 86 percent and the company just fired one third of their employees, turns out he can get laid on bumble but he can get laid off. as it turns out being expected to make the first move all the time is not much fun, even on a laptop. try a face-to-face in real life, in a bar with six of your friends watching, ready to bust your balls or ovaries? the rest of the night because she or he george jia way like you were the elephant man. i know. suddenly woman got a taste of making that scary first move and the sting of rejection, making the first move is the hardest thing you can do because he face rejection almost nine out of 10

times, is like when cat applies for a credit card. [ laughter ] but yet we are expected to do it and that is good because it builds muscles, the ones you don't see, the muscles of personality, kumar, charm, charisma, when we call the access of 'gutfeld!'. i worry however that dating apps have caused those muscles to go slack, people online and judge others superficially on looks and wealth, now even an average looking guy misses out on training those other muscles that make them better than a dumb but handsome jock? here are the actuates of the top 10 percent of men they get all the action on the apps be! the are usually over 6 feet tall, wealthy, good-looking. no wonder everybody else with the y. chromosomes it says why bother. now that has happened to woman on bumble, men are in contact to a small percentage of women leaving out others because it is now based on looks,'s only a few

woman get the most request. perhaps there should be a new dating app called the rest of us. [ applause ] oh, thank you. and unattractive man, could be the spokesperson. like randy weingart. has men explore what it's like to be woman in sports, beer commercials and dressing rooms, woman learning what it's like to man up, and in both cases the results are not good for anyone. the internet he can do a lot of amazing things but it cannot change human nature, strip away what would have been helpful for both sexes. the woman of bumble have learned that today's gender fantasies have little impact on what makes relationships work or even how they begin. a social engineering can't change facts about human courtship, men make the first move because they need to, woman don't.

we are essentially hunters and women wait and then discriminates. it is hard for them, but it's hard for us to. you take that away and you're left with a very lonely people on both sides, which leaves men with born and woman with cats. [ laughter ] let's welcome tonight's guests! [ cheering and applause ] sorry ladies, he is tying the knot in this time it's not a news, accurate, writer and comedian, jamie lissow! despite her unusual last name, she is not an uber driver, heather zumarraga! he buys all his members only jackets and the huskies section, comedian joe machi! and she would live in your van and eat a meal for my can, new york times best-selling author

and fox news contributor kat timpf! [ applause ] jamie at a nonwhite this question, would want to read it to you anyway. jamie your ex-wife dom to, to your wife -- to get house, kids never thing you own it leaving a lonely and depressed, because of that how much time did you spend on dating apps like bumble? you must have used dating apps? >> that was a question quick summary of my life? i did absolutely do dating apps and that makes you feel bad as a guy when you hear those were the parameters. i am not 6 feet tall, that's also something you can change about yourself. immutable? i don't know! i get that all the time, i've actually gotten, you look taller on television. which is crazy! maybe your tv is sitting up on something. you know? [ laughter ] but the thing is, isn't bumble that was her whole thing?

now they're not gonna do it? that was acme going, we can add a little bit of raw meat. >> sean: >> greg: that is why they were called bumble, a clean be the right queen bee. they were in charged, and the little worker bees came. they don't realize how much easier it is, when we were younger and dating, we did not have, you could not even send it like a [ bleep ] picture. you couldn't! yeah,, bring it over to her house! [ laughter ] and now you are choosing -- it's like your penis is getting had shots done! back then you would not even have a filter and those who are a screen door -- [ laughter ] and for the woman it's easier, they can you may thumbs down, back then they would have to actually look at it and give your thumbs down. you know what it mean? couldn't ghost people, had to figure own death. >> greg: think about that!

it was so hard heather, to like lose somebody, one before -- and i can just go some online, before you had to like, i'm not answering the phone, taking different route to work. >> instead like jamie said the picture, you have to deal with the real thing. i'm not sure how to follow up after that. >> greg: what is the business model here with bumble, did they make a mistake? >> of the rules of engagement came because of stock prices are tanking, when they went public, user engagement is declining because people are getting married and that hopefully deleting their profile which would be the right thing to do. but it took seven years to figure this out, you know, were not led a gender to make the first move? at least gives jamie and joa shot on the dating app! no, i love them! of try to help them out. susie joe, you are a lesbian so -- this works out really well

for you? is it weird it joe that no matter how you resist reality or biology, it always somehow returns? >> a great, it is one is speak to some of the comics, prevesia number oh number of woman have hit on the, teaming up to me and say very attractive, format, and a second to lydia eyes work work. i will say those, it sounds, like it's a feminist version of tinder, -- tinder, 20th that is awful! best case scenario, no women want to date you. i've worried that my success into the dating world has made me rusty when i hear about how all you losers are doing compared to me, you know? had to work on some of my own pickup lines. [ laughter ] high stormy daniels, i'm a billionaire. [ laughter ] and... this is a good one because it

talks me up a little bit, but then it makes the ladies a little insecure, maybe they are needy and a curious and want to get you know you better. it's this one. it's your almost as hot as the models and normally day. [ laughter ] >> greg: that's good. that's good. no wonder you are a sex icon! >> i don't use that label but everybody else does. [ laughter ] >> greg: you match your husband on a dating app, is that correct? >> yeah, i also met a lot of people that are not my husband. [ laughter ] >> greg: i love your impression is there. [ laughter ] thank you. do you -- i mean, you are like a woman with a man's kind of perspective, do you think this is -- why? it's true! she will even admit it. >> at what are you talking

about? [ laughter ] >> three no matter what happens, the people gravitate towards the same choices. if you look at a dating abby, only 10 percent of the men get all the women, and onto the woman's whatever app, it's a same thing. is it everybody else's kind of bullied out, not bullied about pushed out. >> maybe but if you look for more often when you see an ugly man with a hot girl than in reverse. you know? i think that is by far. but i also think in general, of the messaging, it can go on forever. you can message back-and-forth and have all these different conversations and never actually made in person, and honesty the guys was a best messages, the best thing is to say, maybe not always the best of actual following through on some of the stuff they say. you know? adding that happens in real life to an on dating apps. >> greg: i was eight to give advice deyongmac out of there, maybe get all those apps. the best way to meet women is to

go to places where you are doing something you are good at. right? you know what i'm saying? whether it is golf range, is that what you call it? a driving range? >> just walk around, putting your tweets on a projector? >> greg: yes, it's easy! go where you can be your best self and people can see you. for me that is everywhere. [ laughter ] it's tough! that's why don't go out! they just come running at me. it's a come a magnet of some kind, a magnet for woman, is that this rig is or what? >> a check magnet? peter yes, thank you joe! [ laughter ] that was a great segment, i don't know about you guys, i don't care about you guys. [ laughter ] up next, joe's memory slips away with a shout out to green bay. [ cheering and applause ]

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[ ♪♪ ] [ applause ] >> greg: his brain is dusty, his be oma's see, last may joe gave an extremely rare sit down interview to cnn, apparently they found one of those easy chairs also has a toilet. but the latin was in for a shock when confronted with the latest stats reacting like some new part of the wrong battery in his pacemaker. >> when you talk about the economy, is by far the most important issue for voters, it's also true that right now voters by a wide margin trust trumped

more on the economy, it is see that in polls, the cost of buying a home has doubled what it was when we look at your monthly because before the pandemic, real income when you account for inflation is actually down since you took office, economic growth last week far short of expectations, consumer confidence may be no surprises near a two year low. with less than six months to go to election day, are you worried that you're running out of time to turn that around? >> president biden: turn it around... >> greg: why the horrified look on your face? as if you got a whiff of your own pans. he also lied about inflation. >> president biden: no presidents had the one we had quitting jobs, burning get down inflation, it was 9 percent when i was in office. >> greg: actually know it was only 1.4 percent. which by the ways also my percentage of body fat. [ laughter ]

you are welcome! i starve or so you can look at me! of because there was no realtime fact check to the reporter who was busy holding her breath but joe's biggest what the hell moment was at a campaign stop in wisconsin, with his catholic school teachers said was drafted by the packers, watch... >> president biden: my theology professor at the catholic school or went to was a guy named riley, last name, and he had been drafted by the green bay packers. and you decided to become a priest, didn't go. >> greg: there's a lot of things going on here. [ laughter ] but i want to know the last name of the guy, riley, and i get the last name o'reilly? >> president biden: this guy named riley, last name, and he had been drafted by the green bay packers. and you decided to become a priest before that so he did not

go. >> greg: you know, perhaps riley's last name was last name? [ laughter ] and the only draft is in the air whistling out of biden's ears. of quiz not only was it joe waiting in other words you should have read, the other words are pure [ bleep ]. at this time comparing him to ronda burgundy is an insult to ron burgundy. everything was prescripted, and still biden ends up [ bleep ] everything up! [ laughter ] if they scripted joe pretty please don't read those, he would reside at joe, a pretty please don't read this! as for the actual anecdote a refer back to my big book of packers knowledge, the only not that we'd only person with a last name was another dude from colorado is in 1947, years before biden was in high school

and speaking of 47, that's the year joe said he rescued those aliens in new mexico. what is joe thank? >> president biden: i remember in my days doing that! back in catholic school. my teacher looked riley last name, that is his name, riley last name! for his name was... bobbio. teenage wasteland. about a song about it! my friend, last name. he is in a band called who. that's not a joke! the recalled who! what's the band? who! say that old caller scheduled with my partner, lou costello duffmac. [ ♪♪ ] [ laughter ] to treat heather at was struggling that interview with aaron barnett, it seemed like

joe that was the first time he ever heard that information. >> looks like it is. >> greg: it's like he was cocooned. >> widen she correct him? coming from his seat and bc, freezing as he is no mr. president, inflation was not 9 percent, it was one point for. two thirds of americans are living paycheck to paycheck so when you asked, are you worried about this and he says no, i turned around. christ different prices are up over 19 percent, you go to the grocery store americans see prices are up, gas stations, americans conceded, he blames corporate brook breed! 's not a corporate greed, is washington's inability to balance the budget, not just an anchor bar is getting smaller. >> greg: yes, it's his brain. it is interesting blaming corporate america and also the idea that americans have more money so don't worry about inflation! what say you? >> he can just blame yourself because you try to wind of the

election, it makes a lot of sense to lie. my only problem is, when it being one of those interviews where she was not allowed to ask a follow-up question because if she had that 9 percent number, she would also have the 1.4 percent number. to me, the greatest part is the more that biden talks, the more his life becomes like the movie forrest gump, pretty soon -- and then i worked on a shrimp boat! [ laughter ] my friend bought stock in apple computer, i could see him just running for a longer distance for no reason. [ laughter ] >> greg: it is amazing, he is in every era with some weird twist. how did he think he comes up with these stories? >> i don't know what i think that interview really shows his greatest strength is his weakness. [ laughter ] it is! because it's actually really hard to want to grow somebody,

stick it to them, when you look over at of them when they're like this -- [ laughter ] right? your brain goes from ol show you, i need to show you how to get home immediately! so you can ask a follow-up question because it would have killed him. >> is a are you okay? it is a matter of he's the president, any situation, the overwhelming feeling is of concern. >> greg: i think she felt about it. it's like if you get in debate with your aging grandfather, and he says something silly. >> he can keep his eyes open. >> greg: jesus. jamie, his performances almost as bad as your marriage. >> that's right. >> greg: i know, i know. >> i wish mine would have only lasted that long. [ laughter ] >> greg: this is crazy that that's the president. isn't it?

it's absolutely crazy, i think she might have felt bad, like the best thing about it being an interviewer, and doing an old guy like biden is like you could ask that was hard-hitting question you want and he could not walk out of he wanted to. physically. i have to point something out, sometime along as you guys progressed, she's to do like an exaggerated version of biden, look of biden was crazy, and isaac joe biden is doing an exaggerated version of tom. >> greg: it's true! >> is on believable, he's a doing a caricature of an old man talking, you can see the thoughts in his head going through a tour before they get to his miles. it's ridiculous. is an he made a mistake when he said, when i got into office it was 9 percent. i think he might when i got into office today. [ laughter ]

>> greg: all right, thank you for applauding me going to a tease, next up, gauze out trashing a plaza t with the right kind of nutrients. look at this new organic soil from miracle-gro. everybody should have it. it worked great for us. this is as good as gold in any garden. if people only knew that it really is about the dirt. you're a dirt nerd. huge dirt nerd. i'm proud of it! [ryan laughs]

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>> a story in five words... booty by words, republicans offer protesters gauze a, this is it interesting, how republicans introduced a bill wednesday that would send any person charged and convicted for illegal activity on a college campus to gaza. [ applause ] to serve a community service sentence for at least ask months , would he make of this? >> unpopular opinion, i think this is the worst a bill that you could get from your government after you die. we live in a country where it's cruel and unusual punishment to execute somebody who is fat, was

supposed to believe for a second we will send a people convicted of a crime into a war zone? i think republicans in the house would be better served by trying to not pass the democrats agenda for them and we should have a bill maybe that if they keep doing that, would send mike johnston to gaza? >> greg: somebody's been hanging out with marjorie taylor greene. [ laughter ] all right, should they get a taste of their own medicine? what's the other analogy... lotto they walk the walk instead of talking the talk? that was pretty strong. >> because in this country we don't send people to war torn areas for misdemeanors. >> greg: bush earned we? shouldn't we? i ask you, are you some kind of hate be? >> if that makes me a hippie i suppose so student you hippie commies are the same.

>> obviously we are not going to do this, so it is irritating that politicians that we pay spend their time doing those which is just virtue signaling. >> greg: you know what i would call it a symbolic gesture. >> that's what's virtue signaling as they do that raises the hypocrisy over the protesters, if you really care, leave the safety net of your coddled college campus, that's three c is in our row, alliteration, look it up, jamie? and don't even have an insult for you. should you send your ex-wife to gaza? [ laughter ] soon think she would argue that would be better than her time with me. >> greg: do you think this is a waste of time? maybe cat is right, it is pointless even if it has a point it is pointless. >> i disagree with these guys.

>> greg: is there a way we can pretend till the last second we're sending them? >> can we just land and pull back, oleh scared of them -- >> greg: that's great! >> i was in 88 and a college would argue still i am, and the dumb thing is, when i was in college is sort, for 20 years at thought local anesthesia, is that local anesthesia meant they got it from like around here. [ laughter ] over supporting the local economy, i don't know. our member my ex-wife when like it was about to touch the hot stove, i let him touch him and he'll never do it again by that's true and want to stop them ahead of time, so is he still has a face with skin. [ laughter ] it think they would both work. it would be a reminder. but as think we scared them but

don't send them. >> greg: it is interesting to though heather, shouldn't of the protesters embraced -- as a general year in jail because you destroyed a car or you get a six months of community service in gaza, given the choice is shown embrace a community service? >> when i tried to provide support to the civilians of gaza instead of breaking the law and destroy the property? they are of onj of wackos, i hate to sit i'm not saying my daughter to college, you know why they should save the tents for after they graduate, they will need them. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> greg: coming up, the actor who objects coordinator did scenes of sex. [ applause ] into the things that keep our food fresher, our families safer, and our planet cleaner. to help us get there, america's plastic makers are investing billions of dollars

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[ ♪♪ ] ♪ what's that smell? it's a story that sells. [ applause ] >> greg: it does swell. michael douglas is vexed by the lack of on-screen sex, aging actor douglas recently criticized onset intimacy coordinators for taking away control from the filmmakers saying it is all choreographed now, at the sags "sex seems like fight scenes it's all choreographed to". in my experience to take responsibly is meant to make sure the woman is comfortable, you talk it through, you say, okay,, i'm gonna touch you here for that's all right. i did a few of these sex movies, and we joke about it now but it would have been like to have an intimacy coordinator working with us? whatever dude.

and like michael douglas, some actresses eight intimacy coordinators are necessary especially the ones that keep michael douglas from having sex with you. cat,. >> yes? >> greg: nobody likes sex scenes except the perverts that's in it. but it was people like michael douglas who made the sex scenes happen because viewers don't like it, the actresses don't like it, nobody likes it except the little old pervert. >> yeah, it's like if you're sitting at home with your parents, you run out of stuff to look at other than the movie. but also intimacy coordinator is one of those jobs where if you have an interest in being that, zeballos thank you should do it. [ laughter ] just like you now? if anybody ever told me, i don't care how inappropriate it is i would get up and leave.

>> greg: to the points jamie, the intimacy coordinators are third-party experts with it nearly unlimited authority and budgets to manage his sexing. i don't know school for this, who makes you the expert. what i guess it is the least capable person in their office, and they will fire them and they go, okay,, jesse, you do those. [ laughter ] sue and, yeah, i was uncomfortable with a lot of things he said. auto sink sex scenes are like fight you're not getting consent >> greg: true. very sensitive comment. >> i can get jealous sometimes, remember my ex-wife was in a sexing, are so uncomfortable. not only because the guy was so good-looking, there's no cameras, your not an actress. [ laughter ] to the report god.

>> poor guy. soon i was in a tv show ones, the hardest part is -- i noted a sexing i was just so excited. >> greg: by the way the love between you two looked totally real. header, i can't recall a single sexing in a movie where eyes more of that, please, except in cocoon but that's for another time. who wants this stuff? >> i don't know, the calling michael douglas the expert, like many beautiful women, it wasn't him that needed the instructor, nor was it sharon stone, i mean uncrossed her legs and she will show you what to do. if you have an element of an instructor makes you feel better during your acting then you

should not a volunteered to be paid for sex scenes and b., it's not going to look realistic to the viewers if somebody is watching. that's just weird. >> greg: tell me about it. you know joe, as a universal sex symbol -- [ laughter ] [ applause ] is it true, joel? every person that you've applauded, you have supper with? >> i don't kiss and tell, just your studio my kissing stories. but i will say that someone your side, i hate movie sex scenes. broke back mountain! [ laughter ] ruined a perfectly good western film! that's why i think i would be a great intimacy coordinator for movies because whenever i start watching people making out, they stop. [ laughter ] >> greg: by the way, cat has a

very good point, let's say you are in a real situation and somebody's making out in front of you. it makes you uncomfortable. why would anybody think that in a movie that would make you feel good watching two people? i don't need to see that. >> i'm not uncomfortable. [ laughter ] >> greg: you are usually in a tree. up next, a speech goes awry because he got to high. [ applause ]

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j. [ ♪♪ ] [ applause ] >> greg: this comes to us from ohio state were a commencement speaker gave a hell of a speech leaving grads and their families in weird sing-alongs, later he admitted his speech, he wrote his speech while hot on the psychedelic drug by a waskasoo. you be the judge of. >> out like to get started by moving our energy, getting our energy flowing. [ singing ] left! hey! top your arms! [ ♪♪ ]

all right just to balance a little bit! we got those, we got this! >> greg: who knows that it makes you like crappy music, jamie, is that prove that when you do the things that you like on drugs they don't translate when the drugs were off? >> it actually does because i enjoyed this because i was black no. it was not that bad. that was one of the most insane things i have ever seen it, did you see early in the speech he did an advertisement for big coin? he did this add and i was a day thing ohio state would have more money to buy a commencement speech without ads? >> greg: it's true, it's like being in the middle of our know, a funeral or a wedding and heather, the priest saying while we are here, do you have an of gold? [ laughter ] >> they also did a magic trick behind the podium that nobody

could see, i have four quarters back in 1984, same purchasing power as three quarters today. the guy holds up a sign, a token and its bitcoin! and the whole student body is like what? so perplexed. no applause, no nothing. what was that? an advertisement for bitcoin to three where you can blame the drugs. would you blame 'gutfeld!'. >> that was the worst performance on ohio state football field eight -- since they started 11-is zero and lost by 22 points. the whole point over the inspirational speech for graduation is stupid, it's like, hey,, you are done and now ongoing new inspire you? we should you as a beginning, work hard and don't protest dumb [ bleep ]. [ laughter ] [ applause ] >> greg: his name, he was an entrepreneur and investor, his

name is chris pan. yeah. >> he made only one mistake which is to not give people similar drugs to take before they walk the stage. [ laughter ] because he would have killed! >> greg: by the way everybody would love that song on drugs. but when you're not on drugs -- drugs -- >> all the songs in the world -- >> greg: what is that song called? [ laughter ] is the only song i know by them! >> you know your bombing when you tell the whole crowd to do something and they just don't. everybody like this, and they like i rather not. >> greg: already, that's aided then, don't go away. we will be right back. [ applause ] heal acid-related damage to the esophagus called erosive esophagitis, and relieve related heartburn. voquezna is the first and only fda-approved treatment of its kind. 93% of adults were healed by two months.

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